I have fleeing thoughts of making contact with my own mother. It's been years since we spoke. I want more then anything to have my mother in my life. I'm just not going there because I know I will regret it the second I attempt to reach out. There is no point. Somethings are better left alone forever. I can not undo the past, I can not predict the future and I certainly don't want to relive the hurt, anger and sadness it has caused me.
Thankfully, I have running! It has been my therapy and my sane voice, to not look back and keep moving forward. Be in the moment with the people I care about and care about me. This is what truly matters, not digging up past hurts from a mother that does not want to be in my life. I like that saying "if someone truly wants to be in your life, they will make an effort to be there for you".
I didn't go out and run 10 miles this morning. A quick 3 miles in 30 minutes around the hood. I want to do some biking later on.