Thursday Random thoughts and things to do!

 

I need to finish up a few home projects before the year ends. I might not get them all done, but its a start in the right direction.

#1. Finish up my bedroom painting and installing the new wide white base trim.

You  can see that I don't have much more green paint to cover up. We do have all the trim just waiting to be installed in the master bedroom. I need to put back my room before the year ends and have it all 100% finished! I'm positive I can finish the painting up, since its on my todo list for the day. Steve has to do the trim cutting and installing so it's just a matter if he has time to do this project.

#2. Daily planks. I tried and failed to keep doing a 4 minute plank. I'm back down to 2 minutes and am struggling with that. I tried to do too much at once going from 2 minutes to 4 minutes, then backing down to 3 minutes and now my arms are shot. It is so true, increase little by little to make big changes, going all in, you'll just crash and burn. I'm feeling the burn! Once my arms get back to normal, I plan to just increase my planks by 15 seconds each set. It will be a year long process of working up to 3 or 4 minutes total. My actual goal is to hold a plank for 5 minutes. Back when I was getting my Personal training certificate a woman my age, competed against a young 20 year old guy and was able to out last him in a plank for 5 minutes! That's impressive. At the time, I could only hold a 30 second plank and I really struggled with that.

In 32 days we will have had Zoey in our house for one year. It's her Got-ya day. It was the best decision of 2016!

 The holiday continues, Last night we went to dinner with Steve's parents last night. It was a thank you for hosting Tim's birthday. I decorated, planned games and Steve cooked the food. They wanted to take us out for a nice meal. since we did all the work at.
 This is the 2nd year in a row we've all gone to watch a Star Wars Movie together.

 

I'm really wanting a fresh six inches of new snow. We had rain, so all the snow is ice. That is not good for cross country skiing. I'm back to running. Well, I ran a quick 1.5 miles on Wednesday after working 3 hours and then having lunch. My stomach needed food but probably not that much before a run. I was happy I just got out and ran. I'll take the 1.5 miles because it's better then skipping it.

 I always assume that its going to be super cold and I'll freeze. Guess by the looks of me running in a tank top, that freezing part when out the window!

I had to sit outside after my run for a few minutes to cool off. It was that nice, in the 20's with a cool breeze.

My plan was to work for a few hours today and have off on Friday. That's not going to happen. I had a schedule change. So now I'm working around 10am today and will work tomorrow for an hour too. Oh well, that's fine because now it give me plenty of time to stall before running and then going to work. I use to wake up, and go workout asap. I was always worried about not doing my workout if it didn't happen right away. Well, I was kind of right on that. I'm still doing my workouts but just not as much. I'm fighting being tired all the time. I've been trying to sleep in more, go to bed around 10 and that's with afternoon naps. I just never feel rested. Something I need to work on in 2017

Where do I start with this picture? I have not spoken, emailed or texted my mom in 10 years. She wrote a email to me back in 2007 asking me to "Let her go". 

To explain my part, because every side there is my side, her side and the truth. Some where in there is the real reason we have not spoken in years. I'm not sure why she felt the need to take such drastic action and not want me or her grand kids in her life any more. I'm not sure what kind of mother would do that to her child? That would be my mom. I just remember that I wanted answers. I wanted her to tell me she was capable of making things fair and equal between myself and my sister. Instead my message got lost. She thought I was out for all her money. I'm not sure how that even transpired. Because that was never my intention. I just wanted a honest relationship with my mom. I needed her to be fair to me. What I got instead was her giving up on our relationship. I probably pushed too hard. As you can see the result was for her to have enough of me forever. I honored her wishes. I never contacted her again over the last 10 years. Not sure why now, she would "Love to see us all."? I haven't been welcome in her life since that email to let her go. Why now? I don't know who she is. I don't trust her. That's an awful thing to say about your own mom. I was so hurt and remain very hurt over her actions. What I do know is that I need closure. I'm not sure what that looks like. I'm not sure I'm ready for contact. I won't feel guilty for not reaching out either. I have to decide whats best for me. I'm afraid, that nothing good would ever come out of speaking with her. I don't want a superficial relationship where we don't discuss the issue. I have no need for that in my life. I'm happy, I love my own family and I have grown from this experience. I suppose, I will always be looking for a apology. I have yet to receive that. Nor would it make a difference at this point. My best advice for me.. go run, clear my mind and think. I come up with my best solutions when I run. That's exactly what I'm going to do.. run it out! It sure has helped me cope with my mom's rejection of me. I always feel better after I think on it while running. I might be sad, mad during the process but I can run and that makes those feeling go away. I come up with a good solution and that's aways to do what's best for me. Keep running forward and don't look back!